Rollercoaster

Mohan on April 29th, 2013

The higher we fly the further we fall

The faster we run the greater we hurt

The more we laugh the longer we cry

The smoother we surf the deeper we drown

The brighter the sun the darker the shadow

The greater the joy the deeper the sorrow

Maybe we should just exist

Unfeeling, unloving, unenthused

It is hard to fall off the ground

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Above and Beyond (Written in 1988!)

Mohan on May 31st, 2011

There must be more to life. Than chasing shadows. Than clutching at emptiness. Than images and illusions. Than seeing yourself in others. Than craving for possessions. Than music and moods. Than pleasures of the senses.

There must be more to friendship. Than associations of convenience. Than empty hellos and forced smiles. Than mundane conversations. Than superficial masks, hiding a selfish core.

There must be more to religion. Than blindness and blood. Than symbols and sermons. Than an eerie game of fanaticism, in which man hunts man.

There must be more to marriage. Than a knotted piece of cloth. Than seven circles around a fire. Than an arrangement to procreate. Than an agreement to share a roof and a bed.

There must be more to humor. Than scoring points off others. Than raillery and ridicule. Than cutting a man down, and laughing as he falls.

There must be more to women. Than figures and statistics. Than animal appeal. Than character and reputation. Than stereotypes of mother, sister, girlfriend and whore.

There must be more to education. Than learning to forget. Than playing to beat the system. Than going by the book. Than constricting yourself within a pattern.

Yes, there must be more to existence. Than birth and death. Than running in circles. There must be a meaning. There must be a destination. There must be an answer to the riddles of life. There must be a door beyond perception. There must be a way to the Source.

And so, I search. For the clarity beyond the fog. Where there would be harmony and peace. Where the past would embrace the future, and all would be Now. Where time and space would blend and fuse. Where the transitoriness would yield to timelessness. Where I would see the symphony of creation, and myself a manifestation of the Is.

Then the soul would wrest itself free from the shackles of the body, to rise and to be one with Infinity. That would be the fulfillment, the becoming…

On This Day…

Mohan on May 8th, 2011

This is a poem I wrote for a friend’s wedding yesterday:

Today in your hand I place my hand

Today in your arms I place my body

Today in your lips I place my smile

Today in your songs I place my voice

Today in your music I place my beat

Today in your dreams I place my hopes

Today in your sorrows I place my tears

Today in your decisions I place my trust

Today in your heart I place my soul

I and Me

Mohan on April 22nd, 2011

I jump deftly outside myself

to see the socially constructed me

The conversation is almost amusing

As I look at me interestedly

Do you know the real you, I ask?

Or do you really live the charade?

How elaborate the layers that surround me

Trying to conform, but alienating I from me

As we begin to negotiate across the fence

I suddenly cannot see me

The camera becomes the photograph

I have begun the road to realization.

Vicissitudes

Mohan on April 10th, 2011

Grey leaden skies
pour out their emotions
dreary sadness prevails
in the murky atmosphere

Birds in their trees
droop their heads in mourning
the darkness travels within
my heart heavy with sorrow

Damp and decay greet the eye
penetrating every pore
the Sun remains a prisoner
its warmth consumed by the clouds

I watch the fog descending
its wispy tentacles advancing
growing menacingly out of nothingness
swallowing the glimmer that remains

But suddenly, I hear a voice
so unreal yet so clear
yonder, look beyond the gloom
there lies the glade of hope

These patient sufferings shall yield
to the warmth of joys they conceal
every poignant moment, pregnant with sorrow
holds the happiness of tomorrow

So when rain dampens the spirit
nature’s message, treat it as such
for every down there is an up
and in every end a new beginning

Rise, wake and discover this truth
see peace and harmony seep through
look inward, introspect and find
silences communicating eloquently

See yourself, a thread in the fabric
entwining, embracing the world
feel the invisible links so strong
the design so grand running throughout

Come to terms with existence
and suddenly, the pain is no more
rise above the quagmire of triviality
mundane pursuits now seem so futile

Break the shackles of desire
wrest the soul free from longing
the vision of action slowly unfolds
and I begin to see the light

Such are the flashes of knowing
what lies within, above and beyond
life has a meaning, a mission, a purpose
and yet we choose to forget

A glorious journey, excitement in discovery
every milestone a revelation
I know not what lies at the end
yet the irresistible pull draws me on

The senses are enraptured
not thinking, just feeling
the emptiness begins to overflow
my vacant mind chokes with sensations

Alas, I sink into the rut
ordinariness takes its toll
the means the end, without a meaning ?
perceptions are dulled, illusions abound

Will my emancipation ever be complete
and the pall ever be lifted ?
hope eternal smiles benevolently
as life slowly resumes…..

Poem For My Unborn Child (written in 1995)

Mohan on September 8th, 2010

As you begin to take shape in body and in my mind

I think about what we together will become

And I wonder about the miracle that will become you

Who chose our paths to cross in the cosmic scheme

Whence do you come, and what road will you walk

Who were you in your journeys across births and deaths

As I imagine your smiles and cries in my thoughts

I hope you will be as perfect as I imagine

You have not yet entered the world

But you have begun to grow and live in our lives

As we place bets on which genes you will choose

And how you will choose to transform our lives

I hope that we can be a part of you

But most of all, I hope we can let you be you

So that you can live the dreams you dream as you grow

And not become what we dreamt, but could not become

Welcome to the real world, baby!

Or welcome to the illusion from the reality that is your soul.

Not Yet

Mohan on June 10th, 2010

My body has not yet awoken, it still slumbers
My morning has not yet broken, it is still in shadows
My hunger has not yet been sated, it is still gnawing
My seed has not yet germinated, it is still dormant
My thoughts are not yet formulated, they are still nascent
My gifts have not yet been opened, they are still wrapped
My love is not yet fulfilled, it is still beseeching
My destination is not yet close, it is still a mirage
My purpose has not yet been achieved, it is still elusive
My spirit has not yet been enlightened, it still wanders

Visions of Myself

Mohan on March 2nd, 2010

Sometimes like driftwood
Swept along by the current
Caught in whirlpools
Cast aside on the shore
Wet and defenseless

Sometimes like a leaf
Dropped from a tree
Buffeted by the winds
Piled on the sidewalk
Drying and lifeless

Sometimes like a pebble
Lying on the street
Kicked by children
Walked on by passersby
Alone and purposeless

Sometimes like a cloud
Suspended in the sky
Attacked by the sun
Pushed with urgency
Wispy and shapeless

Sometimes like an eagle
Soaring in flight
Riding the thermals
Seeing all beneath it
Serene and fearless

Sometimes like a bee
Buzzing along with purpose
Collecting drops of nectar
Making sweet honey
Busy and tireless

Sometimes like a sea
Stretching across the horizon
Cradling life in its bosom
Ebbing and flowing
Deep and bottomless

Sometimes like a lover
Yearning for the union
Drunken in ecstasy
Lost in another
Detached and selfless

Sometimes like the Infinite
Beyond words and description
The doer of all deeds
The dancer and the dance
Pervasive and limitless

Bugbears

Mohan on February 7th, 2010

I am disturbed by evanescence.

I am disquieted by ephemerality.

I am disconcerted by expediency.

I am bewildered by instability

I am befuddled by inconsistency

I am bemused by infidelity

Somewhere

Mohan on January 25th, 2010

Somewhere a leaf falls silently

Somewhere a wind blows harshly

Somewhere a shadow falls darkly

Somewhere a tear drips slowly

Somewhere a hurt grows inexorably

Somewhere a hope fades slowly

Somewhere a love dies fitfully